sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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