He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
