I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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