I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
