I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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