Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
