hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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