I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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