I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
