There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
