Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We need to feng shui this bitch.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
