David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
