I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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