i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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