if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do vagina's smell?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
