Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
