I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
