idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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