i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
