So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
