dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
