uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
