what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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