You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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