I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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