I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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