im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
