we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
