If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we're so committed to being not committed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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