I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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