problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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