And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
