Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
