The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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