then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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