this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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