I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
