Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
