you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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