You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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