Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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