I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
