i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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