Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
organizing the empties. That sober.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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