Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
