Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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