You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize