my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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