I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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