I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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