people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
