i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
