at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
