I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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