If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
