like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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