did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
