Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How external is "for external use only"?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
