I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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