I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
