how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
