Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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