Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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