can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
