i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
