Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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