Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
