4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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