the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize