i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
