Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
