margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
