OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
