Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
