And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
