you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
